Head in the trash can; feet in the dog's mouth.

my mouth tastes like puke, my head hurts and everything keeps moving around every time i turn my head. i'm insanely hungover right now which for some reason makes me want fried bologna. i was told i went outside buttass naked and peed on the sidewalk while the dogs were out using the bathroom. oh. my. god. at least it was dark outside.

this is one of the moments in life you're glad you can laugh at yourself.