first day of fall

today is the starting of my favorite season. it's got pumpkins, halloween, apples, pumpkin patches, costumes, makeup, ghosts, candy, hay rack rides, scary movies and a zillion other things. how can you not love it? when i went outside this morning it seemed almost as if our big oak was like, "what? fall's here?!" then WOOMF! like 200 leaves fell from it. i'm sad gardening season comes to a close seeing as that's what kept me busy all summer. no worries though because, duh... it'll be back.

steve and i have been talking a lot about different deep kinds of topics lately. the one that seems to be plaguing my mind is, how do you show someone something that they can't grasp? you can show someone how to climb a tree, the right places to put their feet, but that doesn't give them the strength to grab the next limb. how do you boost them? how do you show someone to overcome an obstacle that's inside themselves? is it even possible?



this post secret is messed up, but the horrible thing is i could almost see why she did it. it's a great show. fucked up humor for some reason tends to be my favorite.



aren't we all? :)



something very true we all should remember.

Head in the trash can; feet in the dog's mouth.

my mouth tastes like puke, my head hurts and everything keeps moving around every time i turn my head. i'm insanely hungover right now which for some reason makes me want fried bologna. i was told i went outside buttass naked and peed on the sidewalk while the dogs were out using the bathroom. oh. my. god. at least it was dark outside.

this is one of the moments in life you're glad you can laugh at yourself.

The rolling stone gathers no moss, that's why I'm not green... but I'm working on it.

with the massive amounts of change that have come about in my life, having internet was part of it. over the last 8-9 months a ton has happened. i'm not about to try to do a detailed recap of it all.

the basic overview is this:
i had my birthday.
i've had many an adventure in gardening and home renovations.
i've become much closer to my circle friends.
steve and i have experienced some of the many ups and downs of relationships.


nothing too exciting, really. i've recently started talking to old friends from school. i know it's not too long ago considering my age, but it feels like ages to me. looking back the people i talked to everyday at school hardly contact me, but now the people i didn't talk to often are going out of their way to see how i'm doing. i haven't fully decided if it's completely out of caring or simply for the "juicy" shit (for which i'm always seeming to produce) to spread back to the others of the tribe.

i feel like i've been floating in between worlds for a while. most the people my age don't seem to be where i am at the present time. it seems so many are concerned with he said she said bullshit, some are holding up their "badass" shield so others don't see how bad they feel about themselves. They have work tomorrow morning but it's ok if they have 10 shots anyway. it's all party, carefree, she's wearing the same thing as me totally superfical stuff that i don't give a rat's ass about. the few others not in that boat have marriages and children. i'm in that world in between, just sitting and watching them. people watching from the ether.

i've figured out what i want to do with my life at the present moment, just waiting for the ball to get rolling. i keep pushing, and pushing, but i have this feeling that those above have their finger on the other side waiting for the right time to let me go.

with more years, come more fears, tears, and soapboxes to stand on.

huge changes in my life have recently happened. ben and i broke up, i started seeing someone new and i once again am inspired.

i spend a lot of my time cleaning and helping steve work on the house. it's really fun to learn about renovations, especially on old houses.

i've been getting back into my photography. i'm so excited i'm inspired to do artsy things again. i guess all it took was being happy with where i was in life and having a person that motivates and encourages what i like to do and understands it.

the sun just rose, it's a brand new day.

when boredom takes over...

A
- Available: for what?

- Age: almost 21 :)

- Annoyance: i want this awesome smoothie i had in chicago, that i've yet to find a good replica of here in omaha.

- Animal: weiner dog.


B
- Beer: none.

- Birthday: march 3rd

- Best feeling in world: being completely and 100% loved

- Blind or Deaf: deaf

- Best weather: warm and rainy

- Been on stage? oh yeah

- Believe in Santa: no


C
- Candy: yes, please... to just about any kind.

- Color: pink is my fave

- Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate if i had to pick, but i'm more of a twist girl

- Chinese/Mexican: like food? chinese

- Cake or pie: cupcakes
- Cheese: string.


D
- Day or Night: night.

- Dance in the rain: hell yes

- Diets: i'm on the seefood diet. seefood, eat it.


E
- Eyes: i like complicated irises.

- Everyone has: a reason

- Ever failed a class?: yeah


F
- Full name: krista anne mayo

- First thoughts waking up: i tend to realize how i'm feeling. sometimes it's a really awesome comfortable feeling or it's a nasty wtf i hate life feeling. lol

- Food: pasta and potatoes.


G
- Greatest Fear: really deep water

- Goals: to stay true and be happy doing it.

- Gum: the good kind.

- Get along with your parents: yeah

- Good luck charm: a necklace


H
- Hair Color: a calico mix of browns

- Happy: yeah

- Holiday: Halloween

- How do you want to die: no idea. some really cool way

- Ice Cream: gelato. mmmmm.


I
- Instrument: clarinet


J
- Jewelry: love it. silver is my fave

- Job: arbys

- Journal much: yeah i try


K
- Kids: 2 or 3

- Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing

- K9 or Feline: i like both


L
- Longest Car Ride: tennesee or alabama. they both took fucking forever.

- Love: is amazing

- Letter: i lettered in drama in highschool

- Laughed so hard you cried: i did that yesterday


M
- Movies: love them.

- Music: acoustic or electro usually

- Motion sickness: sometimes

- McD’s or BK: i'm tied.


N
- Number of Siblings: 1

- Number of Piercings: i'm not counting. too many.

- Number of Tattoos: 3

- Number: 3, 13


0
- One wish: money

- Only the young: can cry their way to free candy


P
- Perfect Pizza: cheese with ranch sauce


Q
- Quote: something to do w/a shopping cart. it was hilarious.

R-
- Reason to cry: none

- Reality TV: kinda blows.

- Radio Station: don't really listen much

- Roll your tongue in a circle: yep


S
- Song: i like a lot of songs.

- Salad Dressing: italian or ranch.

- Sushi: nah
- Skipped school: mhm

- Smoked: not cigs

- Skinny dipped: yes

- Sing well: i can

- Showers: usually. lol i like baths better.

- Swear: too much.

- Strawberries/Blueberries: strawberries


T
- Time for bed: whenever i fall asleep


U
- Unpredictable: life

- Under my bed: clothes

- Ugliest thing you own: i have some ugly dishes i don't like.


V
- Vacation spot: anywhere

- Vacuuming: i love doing it.

W
- Weakness: food.

- Which friend acts like you: i share small similarites with a few people.

- Worst feeling: fear

- Where do we go when we die: we're recycled like plastic bottles. duh.

- Worst Weather: snow you can't drive in


X
- X-Rays: mhm

- Xerox any body parts?: who hasn't?


Y
-Yes,: i'd love to have some candy.

-Yellow: is a happy color.


Z
- Zoo animal: giraffe

LAST PERSON WHO…
1.
Slept in a bed beside you: my doggie pants.

2.You went to the mall with: i'm going to shadowlake with steve tonight


3. You went to dinner with: steve


4.You talked to on the phone: ben


5. Made you laugh: alisha


6.Hugged you: ben


7.Said they loved you: mom


8.You spoke with: ben


9. Made you mad: work


10.Made you cry: myself

yesterday

"Love is exactly as strong as life."

i have no doubt of that, at all, whatsoever.



yesterday i took another pathway on the road of life. i've taken a similar route before, but i can't help but thinking this one will actually get me where i'm going.

Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.

it's been a week, i know. i didn't die. i swear. (blogging from the grave... heh.)

quite the opposite really. i feel like i'm starting to live life for the first time. things were only in black and white a few years ago. then i started seeing pastel like handcolored old time photos. now it's ridiculously bright colors and hues i can't even begin to describe.

i was given an amazing book that has really been speaking to me. one thing that smacked me upside the head was this:

"If you want the whole thing, the gods will give it to you. But you must be ready for it."

- Joseph Campbell

i used to think i was ready for anything and everything. in reality i wasn't. the things i thought real were just mock trial versions of what was to come.

so am i ready now? really ready? do i want it? really really want it?

oh, yes, god. more than ever.